Hell no, I'm no workaholic; I'd give the world to be in my bed now dreaming about something pleasant in Pleasantville.
Last night, I mean the day before yesterday I was toiling my ass until 3 am to finish some year-end reports, and now I'm stuck at office unable to go back until the jacked-up printer takes its own sweet time to conclude its task. All this lack of sleep is gonna get to me soon, and considerin the fact I ain't as healthy as a horse, things will be taking a turn for the worse pretty soon.
I'm sleepy, tired and on top of that, a lil' hungry. I'm now considering the option of slumping straight into my bed when I get home, only if I don't fall asleep in the car 1st.
This is not your everyday Tony Redgrave speaking, this is a man who's PO'ed about where he's at right now; and he's got nothing to do but to bitch about it on his blog.
The time is 1.28 am, and still the printer is taking it's bloody sweet time to print the tags. "This is the longest working day of my life" **digital clock starts countdown ala 24**
The 47-second clip shows Kratos in his full grandeur, reminding us why we love the barbaric Spartan so much. He hacks and slashes skeletons, harpies and a centaur; oh and also ripping the throat of an ogre, all depicted in beautiful HD.
I thought I'd throw in a bit of the game info as well, initially Cory Barlog (developer of Gow & GoW2) had wanted to add in a co-op mode in the final installment, but it seems that won't be happening 'cause the guy left SCE recently for unknown reasons. Gow co-op? Seems fun, but for time being we'll have to stick to solo mode with good old pale-skin.
Gow3 will wrap up the God of War series storyline, putting the successful game title to a close; (I hope for Sony's sake they don't!) which is quite depressing actually. The game's story is about a man questioning the need for a God, and why Greek Gods do not exist anymore.
Guess that's all the info I have for now, and enjoy the trailer below (couldn't stop grinning when I 1st saw it) . And before I forget, do notice the BMF-ing gauntlets that Kratos is wielding; can't wait to try those~
All that has changed by now, as my former band mates and I are occupied with job responsibilities, and we're residing in different states as well. And I haven't seen Danielle ever since I left music school, which has been 2 years already. She was still the wild and carefree girl I once knew, and she told me a lot about herself over dinner. I was surprised to find out that the organ was the first instrument she learned, before picking up the guitar. When I asked her who was her instructor, she replied, "Oh, my instructor? It was your mother. She was the one who told me you were enrolling and told me to be your teacher."
I've been tagged by Kav, and the recent events have deemed that this is a suitable post for current times. With Obama's win and Badawi proclaiming that 'Anybody can be PM' (dunno whether the old senile means it or not, maybe he's just looking to gain favors), it seems anyone, yes, anyone can be Prime Minister.
The possibilities are endless, but as the title says '5', take a look at the list of my Fab 5 below.
i. Nathan Petrelli
Oh yes, the former New York congressman can make it big in Malaysia. He could blow up 1/2 of Semenanjung, and then proceed to unite the nation in grief. And maybe blame some Inspector or summat who played too much with C4 while protecting his brother Peter, the real culprit.
ii. Shah Rukh Khan
No big surprise here, he's already received Datuk-ship although no direct contribution to the country. With him being PM, our country will have joy & merry-making all day, singing and dancing ala Bollywood style. I've always wanted to hide behind trees or rolling down a slope while singing. Tum pass aa'e.....
iii. Chow Yun Fat
Oh, one of my favorite actors. Just think about it, he could legalize gambling (c'mon, he's the God of Gamblers!) , bring crime to its knees (as Detective Tequila Chen), and best of all, do comedy. Now tell me where can you find such a multi-talented PM? Owning!
iv. Chef Wan Ismail
I remember watching his shows when I was a kid, he actually inspired me to become a chef (which I didn't coz... that's another story). He's in touch with his feminine side, and probably is what the nation needs as our country has never had a female PM before. Chef Wan is the yin and yang, two sides in one perfect harmony.
Best of all, he could cook while giving a speech, and never will anybody change the TV channel whilst the PM is wishing everybody Happy Independence Day.
v. The Lady selling fried bihun near my apartment
I'd be branded a sexist if my list were only men, so here's a female candidate. You may wonder why a normal hawker made it to my list, truth is she's more politics-aware than I am. I always get free advice on how to run the country when I get my bihun fix from her; I don't see why she shouldn't try to run the country.
Disclaimer : This catalogue is purely for satire purpose, and for those who can't accept our country to be led by the people I listed above; go fly a kite at the beach.
Jokes aside, I'm sure that at some point of the average male's life they are bound to utter something dumb to the opposite sex; being a pick-up line, explaining or just a sudden blurt due to poor control of the nerve system.
I have compiled a list of the dumbest things ever said to a girl, coined by yours truly and a few of his buddies. The old crowd was naturally surprised when I asked them this question, but it didn't take them long to recall, though.
- "Good morning, how was your day?" - Wizard
- "So what's your worst one? Coz I never had one (menstruation)" - MY
- "I got you a RM70 pair of shoes, and you gave me a tie bought from the RM10 shop?" - Kav
- "Women are from Mars, and men are from their mothers" - anonymous
- "I never liked flowers, so that's why I didn't get you any, hunn. I can't be giving someone I love something I hate, right?" - dante
- "Babe, you're like M&Ms, you can only melt in my mouth; never in my hands" - Nic
- "I'd love to chat, but I automatically shutdown after 12 am" - anonymous
- "Did you gain weight? I noticed those hips have increased exponentially in size" - qai
- "Kick me" - YY
- "Is it hot in here, or did I just go supernova?" - MY
- "Me and her? We're strictly platonic. She's just a friend. Except she warmed up to me a couple of times" - dante
- "Think of the starving children in Africa, you shouldn't be wasting food. After all, skipping 1/2 plate of rice won't help you to get thin. The key factor; exercise!" - Jack "Nerves of steel" son
- "Hey gorgeous, could you give me your number? Coz I lost mine. I promise I'll return the favor after I find it" - anonymous
- "Momma told me life was like a box of choc-lates; you never know what you gonna get" - Forrest Gump
- "The world's toughest tongue-twister; is I love you. I've never gotten it right before, ever" - vince
Disclaimer : This catalogue is purely for satyr purpose, if any of the female readers should feel offended then my amigos and I would like to apologize as we don't mean it. After all, we already got what we deserved from the girls who received this first-hand from our mouths.
Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert! If you haven't watched it yet (or your name is Tony Redgrave, lol), please do not continue below.
- Future Claire and Future Peter face-off, Claire seems to have become 'different'
- It was Future Peter who shot Nathan at the final of Season 2 (somehow I had an inkling it would be someone from the future)
- Nathan miraculously re-animates from the dead, and believes he's an angel
- Linderman returns
- Sylar returns (hoo-ray!) with only telekinesis however (all his previous acquired powers are gone), & he's on a mission to get more powers
- Sylar acquires Claire's ability, but Claire doesn't die
- Present Peter is trapped inside the body of a guy named Jesse Murphy, Future Peter is currently disguised as Present Peter
- Mohinder develops a power-in-a-syringe vaccine that is able to give powers to a normal human being
- Mohinder develops a power, super-strength, agility
- Matt Parkman is transported to a desolate area (Australia/Africa?) by Future Peter
- Niki Sanders is Tracy Strauss? Another personality?
- Hiro meets his match, a speedster by the name of Daphne Millbrook
- Future Hiro in Season 3 looks much cooler than Season 1, Future Ando shoots him with red lightning from his hands, killing him
- The world is threatened by a 'formula' that the Company once developed half of the formula has been stolen by Daphne
- Angela Petrelli finally reveals her powers, dream-pecognition
- Angela knows Present Peter is actually Future Peter
Episode 2 : The Butterfly Effect
- Bob Bishop is killed by Sylar, Sylar acquires his abilities
- Elle and Sylar face-off at Level 5 of the Company, their duel causes the villains to escape
- Elle survives Sylar's attack, but is disposed from the Company by Angela
- Villains who escaped; Jesse (Present Peter), Knox, Flint, The German
- Jesse's power = sound manipulation
- Knox's power = incredible strength obtained from a person's fear towards him
- Flint = pyrokinesis (blue fire, probably related to Meredith Gordon)
- The German = magnetism
- HRG who was detained also escapes
- Matt Parkman is stranded in Africa, and meets a native that can paint the future
- Claire's biological mother, Meredith, has been asked to look after the Bennett family by HRG
- HRG embarks on a mission to hunt the escapees
- Hiro begins to distrust Ando after he sees the future
- Hiro and Ando head to Daphne's house in France embarking on a mission to save the world
- Mohinder becomes ala Spider-Man; climbs walls, heightened senses, super-strength
- Mohinder and Maya sleep together
- Mohinder's power-in-a-syringe shows side effects
- Nathan is the only person to be able to see Linderman
- Tracy (Niki) has the power of cryokinesis
- Angela is in charge of The Company now
- The biggest spoiler of them all; Sylar is Angela's son!
Briefly; Its name inspired a traditional song that captures the romantic spirit of Bonnnie Prince Charlie (phew, that's a long one, lol) . The name loch, gives away its identity as a Scottish lake; the only sound you’ll hear here is the soft “moo” of a highland cow.
Briefly; Known as the 'Promontory of Vinland' by Norse voyagers, it was a landmark for the early explorers. Quotes F. Murray Schafer, "The ocean rumble, is the sound which above all others gives us the most delight."
Briefly; Part of the Golden Gate National Recreation Area, CA, Muir Woods is a park which caters to pedestrians for outdoor activities. Home to some of the world’s largest trees, redwoods over 200 feet high, John Muir—founder of the Sierra Club—became a conservationist when the sound of a stream rushing by stunned him. Instant conversion. Wow.
Briefly; Hawaii is said to have been named for Hawaiʻiloa, the legendary Polynesian navigator who first discovered it. Inside the cones of volcanoes on it's Big Island, scientists have actually measured zero sound levels. No sound at all.
Briefly; One of the few temperate rain forests in the world, and also among the largest. The Hoh is home of the “One Square Inch Project,” a fight to preserve just a single inch of landscape from human sound. "Keep that one inch quiet", says founder Gordon Hempton; and the silence will radiate out for thousands of acres.
Briefly; Quotes park intepreter Michael Rodriques; "Anza-Borrego is only four hours from 20 million people; yet there’s no place where you’ll find solitude like this. This is a place where you can experience quiet—real quiet.”
I reminisced when I was just their age; sweet, innocent kid I was back then. Grandma used to tell me stories about Chang'e and Houyi, as well as the origins of the mooncake. I used to beg her to tell me every year, and Grandma would go, 'Haven't I told you already last year? My oh my... you're more forgetful than I am', and would begin her story with a smile.
After the story, I'd go play lanterns with my brothers and cousins, who would come to my house for that rare opportunity to play with fire, legally. Back then there wasn't any electronic lanterns that we have today, we just either had the colorful paper ones or those bigger ones made with wire, shaped according to your favorite cartoon character or animals, etc.
My brothers and I, being the elder lot; called ourselves 'The Mint Men'; as we had the right to hold matches and candles, we'd quickly replace our cousin's lanterns with fresh candles when theirs looked dim. We had a mantra, 'The Mint Men, risking their lives to save YOUR tang-lung', before replacing the candles. Our cousins used to stare at us blankly whenever we said that, and beleaguered us to hurry 'save' their lanterns.
And sometimes, we'd go burn some wax into the anthills and do all sorts of crazy stuff. Come morning, with candle wax all over the floor, my mother would ask us to remove the wax with a scraper. 'If the floor isn't clean, you're not allowed to play anymore next year', she'd go.
Then, as I grew older, I stopped playing lanterns, instead I went to parks with girls to watch the lantern parade, and after that I'll bring her to do stuff that people do during dates. I remember every year a different girl, and Grandma would shake her head everytime when she heard of my diversity in girls.
Looking back, it's been many years since I last celebrated Mid-Autumn's with her, so I've decided that I'll do so this year. I'll pester her again to tell me the stories she used to tell me, while slipping back into my role of a 'Mint Man', this time 'rescuing' my nephews and nieces lanterns from 'dying' out.
Have a wonderful Mid-Autumn's Festival, everyone.
The few weeks a lot has really happened, with Anwar winning in a landslide, with an interesting prequel 10 campaigning days round my area; as well as some rough moments in my life. Things haven't been working as I thought they'd would, I'm currently dealing with the cold, harsh reality. Ok... maybe that's a bit too much.
This is just a quick update, herein which I'd like to wish all the readers of 'For Tony Redgrave'; Happy 51st Independence Day, do have an enjoyable weekend ahead.
Hopefully, we'll get to hear some good news from the budget as well tonight.
I hardly fell sick during my schooldays, I used to have SIS (super immune system), there was once when both of my brothers fell sick during a trip and the 3 of us were stuck in a room; but I remained unfazed with their germs and viruses the both of them were so eager to spread.
But now, things are different; I noticed that this time is the worse of all the times I was sick, with the throbbing headaches, coughs, running nose, sore throat, back ache, damn; I feel like an old geezer.
I hate being sick.
Thus, begins the shopping chronicles of Tony Redgrave, and his (mis)adventures of shopping.
Today, I went over to the shopping mall just opposite of my workplace to get some stuff, herein which the stuff was toilet paper and a bottle of mouthwash. Now, before you start going, 'Typical male, cannot live without toilet paper ah?'; let me clear a few things first.
First of all, I had run out of supply for about a fortnight already, and secondly, I don't just use it for, ahem, well, you know what I mean. I do use it to wipe stuff, 'stuff' here means, err... you know, other stuff, damn; in short it's a cheap alternative to tissue paper. There, now that wasn't so difficult.
As I was saying, after work I walked over to the shopping mall and went straight to the supermarket which was located at the lower ground. I didn't wanna waste time, so I directly asked a salesgirl where they put the toilet paper. She looked at me, and with a giggle pointed me the direction. What's so funny, I thought.
Regardless, I marched straight to the place, and took the cheapest brand of the whole lot (even that costed almost 10 bucks) and collected the mouthwash not so far away. I paid for my stuff, which costed almost 25 bucks, and I wasn't given a plastic bag for the toilet paper, as there wasn't a bag that big, and there was a small plastic ear that I could hook my fingers, thus I slinged it over my shoulder.
For some unknown reason, the walk home felt longer, and I heard giggles, and there was even a kid asking his mum, 'Why is that 'koko' carrying toilet paper?'. I scurried out & when I was just about to cross the road the damn plastic ear snapped and the toilet paper fell on the road.
I almost got ran over a car just to pick it up, the car stopped just right in front of me; the driver looked at me one kind before speeding off. And a motorcycle whizzed past me not long after, missing me by inches.
The worst part, as I was walking into the company's car park I saw IJ-girl, and she looked at me, and the toilet paper that I 'kepit' under my arm pit. Great. She must be thinking that I'm the type that can't live without toilet paper.
A befitting end to chapter 1 of my shopping chronicles.
i. Paris Hilton
Narrative : Ahh yes... the glamorous heir to the Hilton empire; though obviously for the wrong reasons.
Quoted : "I don't really think, I just walk."
dante's reaction : Come on, Paris; you NEVER think.
ii. Arnold Schwarzenneger
Narrative : Nickname, 'The Governator'; one of my favorite action-superstars turned politician. Sigh.
Quoted : "I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."
dante's reaction : Can you actually hear yourself, Arnold? But, I'd pretend I didn't hear that if you said, 'Hasta la vista, baby' instead.
iii. Brooke Shields
Narrative : Started off as a thin model, who went on to star in 'Cheers' before becoming super-huge. And I never bothered what happened next.
Quoted : "Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
dante's reaction : Which part of 'killed' that she doesn't understand?
iv. Britney Spears
Narrative : A car-wreck, train-wreck and whatever wreck that's wrecked. I'm sorry if I offended you, Chris Crocker. But Britney IS a helluva mess. Ooopps... I did it again.
Quoted : "I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."
dante's reaction : I know that you know, Britney. Surprise me with something I don't know.
v. Sylvester Stallone
Narrative : a.k.a 'The Mumbler'; honestly, sometimes I don't understand what the hell is he talking about. One thing I know, is that John Rambo is still alive and kicking. So is Rocky Balboa.
Quoted : "The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush."
dante's reaction : Pardon me, could you please repeat that? I only heard 'dead' and 'paintbrush'.
vi. R. Kelly
Narrative : I only found out what did the 'R' stand for, it's 'Robert'. The only song worth listening from him is, 'I Believe I Can Fly', and after the 2nd time listening to that song you'll start to hate it.
Quote : "All of a sudden you're like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I'm going through."
dante's reaction : I'm sure he does, Robert. But he never got charged for child pornography, though.
Disclaimer note : Sources were cited from MSN Movies.
In the end, there will be only... chaos.
It's a shame, as I can only take on 26 five-year-olds, even though I've answered the questionnaires in the meanest way possible. Sigh.....
Please don't look at me, I'm just as confused as you are. Robbery of a disagreeable cow?!
Now, for those of who you are clamoring for a sequel, (just like I did), rejoice fellow friends! Transformers 2 is in the making, with the shooting beginning last May 2008.
If you don't like spoilers, there's still time to discontinue reading; but if you're a die-hard Transformers fan, just continue below.
The plot: Sam Whitwicky (Shia LeBouf) has entered college, & due to some reason has become super-smart, to the point of telling his professor that there are errors in a textbook after finishing the book in 5 seconds.
There is mention of 'The Splinter', which may be a fragment of the All Spark that got
embedded into him during the 1st movie, resulting in his overnight smartypants attitude.
Also, the movie will focus on Sam's (possibly strained) relationship with Mikaela(Megan
Fox), who has failed to get into college.
The robots: Among those listed that will return;
- Optimus Prime
- Soundwave (Decepticon, hurray!)
- Jetfire (Decepticon)
- Arcee (Autobot)
Which character? Go figure.
Disclaimer note: Sources were cited from Wikipedia and CinemaBlend, my greatest thanks go to both of these sites.
So I suggested that he'd do Tuesday Twists, while myself would go on making Whacky Wednesdays.
Initially he was confused what I mean with Tuesday Twists, I simply explained that he'd decipher everything that happened to him on Tuesdays in dances, e.g. 'I tango-ed my way into the office this morning, clearly in a good mood; only to find my boss getting ready to salsa me'. Hahahaha....
Unfortunately, Kav didn't share my idea of a brainwave.
Regardless, I've decided to put the theme Whacky Wednesdays into plan, so I'll be making weekly posts, which means at least I'll have four posts monthly (at least), in order to keep up with my resolution.
Below are among the 10 whackiest things I've done, actually I've done more than these, but I'll just list out the top ten crazy, brainless things that I did back when I was young..... and stupid.
i. Smoked 7 fags at one go
ii.Jumped across a railway track at the sight of an oncoming train
iii.Slam-dunked on school basketball court (my friend told me, 'break a leg, bro' and i did, literally)
iv.Played wrestling in Chemistry Lab's table, in front of my Chemistry teacher
v.Holding my bladder for 8 hours (from 12am - 8am, was too damn scared to go school's haunted toilet alone)
vi.Crossed the road while doing a wheelie on my dad's EX5
vii.Went uninvited to a stranger's party (I bagged myself a date with the host's daughter as well)
viii.Took Amanda out for a date (what was I thinking?!)
ix.Climbed a flag pole to honor a bet (hey, it involved a 100 bucks, and I was in 2ndary Two)
x.Jammed non-stop for 6 hours, the best hours of my life *tears glistening in eyes*
I'd been wanting to replace the previous one a loooong time ago, but you know, being the big procrastinator that I was & the right template hard to come across, it wasn't the normal supermarket stroll where you just dump everything into the cart.
Alas, I happened to chance upon the apposite candidate yesterday, check out the site here. They've got templates for both Blogger and Wordpress, so if you're looking for a re-deco you might find something you like here. And did I mention that it's free? Yes, it IS free.
The new template still needs some touch-ups, as I've noticed that the loading time is kinda slow, and there are a few 'unimportant' (being tactful here) codes embedded in it, I'm currently working on that. Also, I hope that Blogger supports some client-side scripting, as I'm looking to make my site a lil' more dynamic.
Until then, please bear with the slow loading times, I promise I'll get it fixed up a.s.a.p (and add more posts); also, my new co-author will be joining very soon (hopefully), so look ahead for a new 'For Tony Redgrave, by .45 Artwarks'
It all started when my best bud Kav told me that he started a blog, and after a few visits to his blog I was tempted as well to launch my own blog. He was the one who actually jump-started 'the blogger in me', peace out, bro.
The part where picking the blog's name was the hardest, as I was one of those who rarely wanted to use my actual name online, call me paranoid if you will; I don't give a crap.
It took me quite a while to pick it,and there's a reason why I named it in such a way, and if you look carefully at the picture above you'll understand what I mean.
I've learned quite a lot about the blogging world since I started calling myself a 'blogger', 'beruk' if you will in the eyes of our dear Khairy Jamaluddin. Things aren't what they seem, and sometimes our own media are deceiving us right under our very noses, as some of the facts are covered up for God knows why. Through blogging I feel that an individual has the right, the freedom to speak up something that cannot be said in person, and I gotta say it feels great.
Well, the blog content here conceives of wacky satyrs, but mostly it consists of my contemplations and flashbacks of my good ol' school life, as well as my everyday happenings, be they good or bad. There were a few collaborations I did with dear ole' Kav, and I'm actually looking to collaborate with more people in the future. I tend to dislike politics, unlike Kav, so I tend not to write so much about politics here.
I've made new friends along the way, Amutha, Wendy, Kesh, just to name a few, and it's been a pleasure meeting you guys. Not forgetting to mention my previous co-author, my heartfelt thanks goes to you, Amanda; for taking care of my blog temporarily when I was in WOMBAT mode.
It's been a colorful blogging year, and my birthday wish this year that it will be the same for many years to come.
Offence 1: Not doing Maths corrections
The Punishment: 30 squats @ 20 push-ups
Yeah, you might say this is a lame offence, but this happened back in Secondary One. My Maths teacher was a real 'sweet' guy, as he'd let us choose our punishment type. As my classroom's floor was f'in dirty, I chose to do the squats a.k.a ketuk-ketampi instead. He would let me count myself, which I started with 1,2,3,4,5 before jumping to 9, then 11, 15, and by the time he knew it, my squats were over in no time.
I'd always get away with it, but once he caught me and asked me to do the 30 ketuk-ketampis AND the 20 push-ups; twofold. After that I never forgot to do my corrections ever again.
Offence 2: Eating kuaci in class
The Punishment: Eating kuaci in front of the Afternoon Principal, litter on the floor and picking it up
I wrote a post about this here, man Geography class can really bore you to death. So in order to pay atention in class, I decided to eat kuaci instead, as it was said that kuaci improved brain power and focus. Unfortunately, we got too bold and purposely let the Geography teacher catch us red-handed. And the rest, is history.
Offence 3: Fencing at the back of the class
The Punishment: Fencing in front of the class
Honestly, I don't know what the hell was on my mind back then. My friend and I were sweeping the floor at the back of the class, coz we were punished for some offence, I forgot. I was sweeping when the whole broom's bristles fell off and I was left with the stick only.
My friend thought that it'd be fun and broke his broom and challenged me to a fencing competition. We were having fun before our class teacher caught us and 'invited' us to continue our match in front of the class. Hell, we performed for a good 10 minutes before she asked us to stop.
Guess she was entertained herself.
Offence 4: Fighting in the toilet
The Punishment: Scrubbing the toilet floor with a toothbrush
Sigh.... If only I could control my temper back then. I went to the toilet for a piss after the morning break, minding my own business when one guy came in and made a racist remark.
Guess I couldn't take it and proceeded to beat the crap out of him, to the point of slammin' his head on the wall, twice. Or was it thrice? I only stopped when the prefects came, and was invited for kopi-o at the PK's office. He gave me a long, dragging monologue, before handing me a toothbrush; entrusting me to transform the toilet floor from crap-littered to a glaring sparkle. I went home that day 3 hours late, unable to stand up straight.
Offence 5: Stealing coconuts
The Punishment: Getting hit by a coconut... in the face
There were houses located nearby my school, and the residents use to plant some fruit trees; mangoes, rambutans, durians, you name it. There was this house where we used to steal its coconuts from, and proceeded to break them by throwing the fruits to the edge of the drain, in order to split them open. We would then drink the water and scrape the flesh with a spoon that we stole from the canteen.
Nothing to cool you down like a refreshing glass of coconut juice. I think God might've not liked us stealing, and ensued to hand down some 'divine punishment'. Once I threw the coconut to the drain's edge so hard, the coconut bounced back and hit me squarely in the face.
I was dazed for 5 minutes, before continuing with my attempt to break the coconut again.
Stay tuned for Part II, with wackier and wilder offences I did in school and the punishments that followed.
i. Tell her you're straight
Nowadays, playing the 'I-am-gay' card won't work anymore, as this ain't a foolproof excuse to not see her again. Be creative and tell her that you're straight instead. The smart ones will wonder why the hell you're tellin them this, and will proceed to stay away from you coz you're nuts. The not-so-bright ones shall ponder why you're not using the adjective 'tall' to describe yourself, or might think that you're telling them about your 'little brother'.
ii. Natter about the future
During conversations re-iterate about wedding plans and your future together; and always use the word 'we' or 'our'. A good example; 'I wonder will our children send us to the old folks home like how I'm gonna send your parents & mine there after we get married?' Guaranteed to scare her out of her wits. Be careful though, as this method may backfire and she might stick to you like glue instead. After all, women do love men who's got future plans.
iii. Order a 'tongkat ali' drink
Take her to a nasi kandar restaurant and proceed to order an 'Ali Cafe, shaken-not-stirred' from the waiter. As the mamak stares at you with his mouth agape; turn to look at her and say 'I drink this a lot. A WHOLE DAMN lot; if you know what I mean' and raise your eyebrows in a flirty manner. Works like a charm, as this method has a success rate of 95.7%. Dante-tested, mother approved.
iv. 'Weighted' conversations
Women love men who listen, in fact; women WANT men that listens. Just be the exact opposite. Talk more than listen, if possible; make it a one-sided conversation. Drown her with questions and answer them yourself, and yack about how you successfully prepared a plate of fried rice all by yourself when you were 20 years old. Drone on and on and on, and they'll fall asleep due to boredom. Used to be the bane of my best bud, YY; he was actually turned down 7 times before he actually got to ask 'Can we be more than friends?' Ironic.
v. Playing the trump card
Finally, the 'mother' of the 5 methods. A majority of today's women hate men who're a momma's boy, so continue to use that to your advantage. Call your mom every 15 minutes reporting the status of your date; are you holding hands, your current location, are your pants pressed, and which side did you part your hair. Your date will bade you goodbye before you even know it, throw away her SIM card and delete her MSN account so that you'll never be able to contact her ever again.
Disclaimer note : Results may vary due to the individual's technique of employing the methods, thus the author is not to be held liable for any crap that you wrought upon yourself. After all, yours truly is only human (and the only method that he's ever tried was the 3rd one), moreover; to err is humane. Thank you.
This year's initial Marvel movie released was Iron Man; which will be followed by Incredible Hulk, one movie that I'll definitely won't miss. I went to catch it last week, and I'd say that the movie was kinda ok.
The story began with Anthony Edwards "Tony" Stark held captive by a bunch of terrorists (ain't this a popular scene in American movies now these days?), and as the story unfolds it shows why and how Stark got himself a glowing flashlight in his chest.
Apparently he was hurt by his own bomb that threatened to kill him, and only by building himself a mini arc reactor in his chest has that kept the shrapnels from entering his heart.
Along with fellow prisoner Yinsen; Stark builds himself a suit that is powered by the reactor in his chest that would ensure their escape from the terrorists. Thus Iron Man Mark I was born, a crude but strong armor, which is actually the first version of Iron Man's armor in the comics. Yinsen dies in order to secure Stark's escape, and the once irresponsible billionaire was transformed into a more conscientious person; and a superhero was born.
Story-wise, the flow was kinda good, up to the point of Stark's rescue. Arthur Marcum and Matt Holloway wrote the script which was later polished by John August, the scriptwriters tried to stay true to Iron Man's origins, which was a good thing.
However, the villain was kind of a let-down, which turned out to be a bigger version of the Mark I, reverse-engineered by villain Obadiah Stane.
The Mark III armor was designed by to Adi Granov; a Bosnian-born comic book artist and conceptual designer, a talented young man that would be a 'future superstar penciller', according to Marvel editor Joe Quesada.
Armors Mark I, Mark II, & Mark III
Obadiah Stane (Iron Monger) was played by Jeff Bridges, who decided to go bald and grow an Amish beard; his performance as villain I'd say was ok as well, hmm.. maybe it was because of the looks and his slang.
Overall, I'd say that the movie wasn't a let-down, and despite the flashy trailers and all director Jon Favreau managed to deliver a presentable movie adaptation of one of Marvel's famous Avengers. Be on the lookout for Incredible Hulk, as there'll be a cameo of Tony Stark appearing the film, and I do hope we get to see War Machine in it's sequel.
p/s: Stay until the credits finish rollin', you might be in for a surprise.
Apparently when she learned that she had the disease it was too late, she was already in the terminal stage and doctors told her that she would have only 6 months left. I did not press on for the details, as that would only be an insult to her memory.
The last thing I did ask was when she passed on, it was last November.
She was a good friend, we met on college years and became fast friends. After we obtained our diploma we seldom met, only to bump into each other ocassionally and exchanging short hi-s and bye-s. I'd blame myself for not calling to ask her how she was, because I kept telling myself that I'd do so later, and laters became later-later and eventually I forgot.
I got the call from Nat when I was at home, and after she hung up I just sat there thunderstruck, I couldn't believe that she was gone, just like that. I felt guilty; there I was, claiming myself to be her friend but I didn't know what happened to her even to the end of her days, hearing about her only about her death; that being almost half a year.
Now, the most that I can do is to write a post in honor of her memory; as well as an reprimanding to myself to care for those around me before it's too late.
Farewell Jen, rest in peace.
The ones who're lucky to be the first girl should discontinue from reading this post, as this doesn't concern you; well probably just not yet.
What I don't understand is why women are curious to know about their boyfriend's ex-girlfriend(s). I mean, why do they like to dig up the ghosts from the times of yore only to end up fighting about something pointless? What's past is already past, let's leave it at that. No point for us going through detail describing what happened.
Ok, it's fair if we told you about how many we dated, but ignorance is bliss right? What's important is the present, and if I were to tell you that I dated 10 girls before you and you're number 11 would you be able to sleep better? I guess not.
So why not let sleeping dogs lie instead? Just be happy with the relationship and let the future unravel itself, that's what life is about after all. Why the hell would you wanna know why did we break up; only to end up worrying about you sharing the same fate? Or looking at her picture or meeting her in person; comparing yourself with her, come on, no matter how perfect you are, looks, brains, and all, there's bound to be something that you feel inferior when you put yourself side by side with the previous girl.
Do not torture yourself needlessly. That's why men don't talk much about our ex-es. Well, at least me. I'll admit, yours truly did have a few flings before my current relationship but that was already history. Sure, I did tell Nat about what happened before but I didn't want to go deep into the details. Knowledge is power, but in this context ignorance is bliss.
Sometimes a simple phone call from my ex could spell disaster, and meeting one of them at public was worse, as there was bound to be some issues later. Yes, I know that this a very normal reaction, this is a good sign indicating that my girl is very much concerned about me; and I'm a very lucky man.
But is it worth the trouble? There are some who're cool with their bloke's ex calling and letting them meet her ocassionally, but honestly ask yourself how many are those who're that open-minded?
There is a reason why we keep in private the stuff from the previous relationships, or remain those moments we shared in our memory. Those mementos belong to a previous liaison, between you and another individual; the privacy of that should never be easily compromised. Omission is never betrayal, it's simply an investment to reap the profits of the contemporary relationship.
p/s: This post is just another of my contemplations, it had nothing to do with my ex calling me thrice yesterday night and me keeping mum about it.
It turned out I was in for a surprise. Apparently, the toilet bowl was for sale, and its sales representative told me that this was a 'hygienic toilet'. According to him, the toilet seat was a place where germs were a-plenty and you can catch Pruritus ani (Tautkus Butt) from there.
Enter the 'Toilet Master', a revolutionary toilet bowl that cleans the seat with disnfectant liquid everytime you flush, regardless of whether you take a dump or a piss. Also, the flush water uses distilled water that ensures your toilet bowl clean, and 99.99% free from germs. What's more, you can set the toilet's timer to automatically flush if some moron in your house or at the public forget or just can't be bothered to flush.
In a package, he told me, I have a toilet that cleans itself, and no need to worry about catching ass-related diseases. The price, a whooping 500 bucks, a real deal he ensured me. 'This invention will revolutionize how we berkumuh'; he told me. He was very enthusiastic while explaning, it seemed he had passion in his job and wasn't embarassed at what he was selling. I asked him how many he managed to sell so far. Turned out that he had been here for 3 days, but so far I was the only one who had listened to his whole sales pitch; the others simply walked away after they heard that the bowl was for sale.
Guess that made his day, as he presented me with a bottle of toilet seat disinfectant, on the house.
Just when I thought I'd seen everything; now there are all-in-one hygienic toilet bowls for sale at food courts. I take my hat off to you Philip; for your enthuisiasm and courage (and not forgetting the free disinfectant), may you be able to transfigure the toilet industry.
I stopped at the mart on my way home, walked in and proceeded to grab the bread before paying at the counter. I was browsing through my wallet for some spare change that I didn't realize that there was somebody in front of me and bumped headlong into the figure. I was about to apologize when I realized that it was her. I recognized her instantly, as she did me.
I still remember the day when we first met, at 7-11; we were both tuition mates back then, Chemistry tuition mates to be exact. The meeting was actually by chance, I was paying for my large Slurpee whereas she just walked in, we looked at each other before she conferred me a smile. It was one of those smiles that'll make your heart melt, well at least mine, anyway.
During my 2ndary school days I was rather stiff with girls, the moment she smiled I was a bit taken aback, before my brains shouted 'Smile back, nitwit!'. It was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. From there on we made it a point to greet each other with a smile, her smile everytime thawing me out. I cycled to tuition back then, and when classes were over she'd make it a point to look back as her car passed me by, and I'd return her gaze until she was out of sight.
However, I was too gutless to ask her out, let alone asking her name. My buddy, Yan urged me to go ahead, but sadly I was too chicken to do so. Eventually, SPM examinations came, the classes came to an end and I've never seen her since.
I've almost forgotten about it, having only those memories rekindled tonight. We met each other at the same place the path of our lives crossed, only to learn that both of us were already seeing someone. She told me she felt happy seeing me, as it was unexpected and pleasant as well, I remember her saying these words before we parted, 'It's destiny we saw each other tonight. I felt glad seeing you again,' before presenting me with her same sweet smile I knew so well, as a parting gift.
We understood each other, it was already too late for anything. Guess that a small part of me (ok, I admit it was rather a big part of me) wanted more than the current situation, but nah... life is already complicated enough. There are those relationships that are one of a kind, unique special ones, and this was one of them. No strings, no boundaries. Abstract relationships, I think that's what they are called. Undefined yet evocative.
This time, although I had the courage, I didn't ask for her name, I just wanted to remember her by her smile. Who knows, things might've turned out different if I had the guts to ask her out then, I wouldn't have known Nat, and she would never have known her bloke. Damn, again I'm harbouring hopes. Ah well, no point talking about what-ifs and what-nots.
As I saw her walk out through that door, towards the car that was waiting for her, I replied; 'As do I.... As do I.'