2008-04-17

the eX factor

There's one topic that women can't get over with, and that is about their bloke's ex. Those who're lucky enough to get their man first-hand, like a brand new car; new leather seats, shiny metallic paint and all. And there're those who aren't that fortunate, their bloke is probably 2nd-hand, well maybe 3rd-hand, 4th, 5th, 10th; lady, if you're number 10 and above, you seriously need to re-consider about your guy here.

The ones who're lucky to be the first girl should discontinue from reading this post, as this doesn't concern you; well probably just not yet.


What I don't understand is why women are curious to know about their boyfriend's ex-girlfriend(s). I mean, why do they like to dig up the ghosts from the times of yore only to end up fighting about something pointless? What's past is already past, let's leave it at that. No point for us going through detail describing what happened.

Ok, it's fair if we told you about how many we dated, but ignorance is bliss right? What's important is the present, and if I were to tell you that I dated 10 girls before you and you're number 11 would you be able to sleep better? I guess not.


So why not let sleeping dogs lie instead? Just be happy with the relationship and let the future unravel itself, that's what life is about after all. Why the hell would you wanna know why did we break up; only to end up worrying about you sharing the same fate? Or looking at her picture or meeting her in person; comparing yourself with her, come on, no matter how perfect you are, looks, brains, and all, there's bound to be something that you feel inferior when you put yourself side by side with the previous girl.

Do not torture yourself needlessly. That's why men don't talk much about our ex-es. Well, at least me. I'll admit, yours truly did have a few flings before my current relationship but that was already history. Sure, I did tell Nat about what happened before but I didn't want to go deep into the details. Knowledge is power, but in this context ignorance is bliss.

Sometimes a simple phone call from my ex could spell disaster, and meeting one of them at public was worse, as there was bound to be some issues later. Yes, I know that this a very normal reaction, this is a good sign indicating that my girl is very much concerned about me; and I'm a very lucky man.

But is it worth the trouble? There are some who're cool with their bloke's ex calling and letting them meet her ocassionally, but honestly ask yourself how many are those who're that open-minded?


There is a reason why we keep in private the stuff from the previous relationships, or remain those moments we shared in our memory. Those mementos belong to a previous liaison, between you and another individual; the privacy of that should never be easily compromised. Omission is never betrayal, it's simply an investment to reap the profits of the contemporary relationship.

p/s: This post is just another of my contemplations, it had nothing to do with my ex calling me thrice yesterday night and me keeping mum about it.

4 comments:

tulipspeaks said...

well, in this case i agree.. ignorance is bliss.

:)


ammu.

tony redgrave said...

finally, somebody from the opposite sex agrees!

all hail ammu!

SC said...

Supremacy complex is the words to describe ladies, they just love to compare and feel supreme, if not for this then there will be no 2nd wife or mistress around.

tony redgrave said...

@sc: oh, those are words of wisdom....

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