The Shopping Chronicles of Tony Redgrave - Chapter 1

Shopping, is nothing new to me. But, whenever people see a single, young guy doing some recreational activity in search of a suitable product to purchase, well, things... tend to happen.

Thus, begins the shopping chronicles of Tony Redgrave, and his (mis)adventures of shopping.

Today, I went over to the shopping mall just opposite of my workplace to get some stuff, herein which the stuff was toilet paper and a bottle of mouthwash. Now, before you start going, 'Typical male, cannot live without toilet paper ah?'; let me clear a few things first.

First of all, I had run out of supply for about a fortnight already, and secondly, I don't just use it for, ahem, well, you know what I mean. I do use it to wipe stuff, 'stuff' here means, err... you know, other stuff, damn; in short it's a cheap alternative to tissue paper. There, now that wasn't so difficult.

As I was saying, after work I walked over to the shopping mall and went straight to the supermarket which was located at the lower ground. I didn't wanna waste time, so I directly asked a salesgirl where they put the toilet paper. She looked at me, and with a giggle pointed me the direction. What's so funny, I thought.

Regardless, I marched straight to the place, and took the cheapest brand of the whole lot (even that costed almost 10 bucks) and collected the mouthwash not so far away. I paid for my stuff, which costed almost 25 bucks, and I wasn't given a plastic bag for the toilet paper, as there wasn't a bag that big, and there was a small plastic ear that I could hook my fingers, thus I slinged it over my shoulder.

For some unknown reason, the walk home felt longer, and I heard giggles, and there was even a kid asking his mum, 'Why is that 'koko' carrying toilet paper?'. I scurried out & when I was just about to cross the road the damn plastic ear snapped and the toilet paper fell on the road.

I almost got ran over a car just to pick it up, the car stopped just right in front of me; the driver looked at me one kind before speeding off. And a motorcycle whizzed past me not long after, missing me by inches.

The worst part, as I was walking into the company's car park I saw IJ-girl, and she looked at me, and the toilet paper that I 'kepit' under my arm pit. Great. She must be thinking that I'm the type that can't live without toilet paper.

A befitting end to chapter 1 of my shopping chronicles.


KaV said...

try walking around with a pack of condoms next time...

tony redgrave said...

dude, condoms are small enough that you can just stuff it in anywhere. Ya don't hafta lug it around.

The hard part is paying for it, though.

SC Choo said...

i giggle while reading... you are so Mr Bean. or the cantonese call "loon chun"...

amanda said...

u never were the 'shopping' type, dante.

i still remember the 1st time we went to mcD's during 2ndary One.
u were stuttering during the whole ordering process. rotflh!

and who's IJ-girl?!

tony redgrave said...

@ sc choo : oh mommychoo, how could u giggle? it was a matter of life & death.... lolz.

@amanda : can u not tell everyone about the mcD incident? i was.. young then.

and i'm not telling u who she is.

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