Devil May Cry 4: TGS 2007 Trailer

Devil May Cry 4 at its best trailer yet. I'd be a vegetarian for life if Ken Kutaragi would give me a PS3 bundled with DMC4.


Tarot, People & Workplace

Today's post is about the people at my workplace, and the characteristics they share with Tarot deck's Major Arcana. I figured that it's already 3 weeks in since I started my internship, and it's about time I wrote something about my workplace.

1. The Magician

It can mean a manipulator is floating around, usually if it's reversed. He may be a beneficent guide, but he does not necessarily have our best interests in mind. He can also represent the intoxication of power, good and bad.

The fat guy in the office, very hyperactive and is never void of jokes. An ‘ok-guy’ that’s offered to teach me a few things, and at the same time tries to manipulate me while chewing a donut.

2. The High Priestess

On a more mundane level, the High Priestess is a figure who has passed through most of life. She started as a novice when a child. Now She has grown and governs the convent which is Spiritual Reality. She knows God. She knows what we go through because She has been through it Herself.

My supervisor, the IT Manager. Started very young and has worked her way up to the top, sadly by doing so she looks much, much older than her actual age. Always full of smiles and so far I’ve managed to get away with surfing than actually doing my work; even though she’s just sitting BEHIND me.

3. The Emperor

The Emperor symbolizes the desire to rule over one's surroundings, and its appearance in a reading often suggests that the subject needs to accept that some things may not be controllable, and others may not benefit from being controlled.

The Managing Director of the company. Constantly full of motivational quips, speeches and lines to get you pumped up at work. Sadly his jokes never makes me laugh, I’m forced to express amusement because he’s the M.D.

4. The Lovers

In some traditions, The Lovers represents relationships and choices. Its appearance in a spread indicates some decision about an existing relationship, a temptation of the heart, or a choice of potential partners.

Haha… My senior and his girlfriend from another department. Tries to hide the fact that they’re actually a couple by acting cool towards her; but even a blind man can see that they’re going out. Sigh.

5. The Chariot

The battle is usually an external one, with a clear goal and plan of action. Qualities needed to win the battle are; self-reliance, righteousness, conviction and plain hard work.
The steeds represent powerful forces, internal or external, that can be controlled to achieve the goal.

My female colleague in the office. Can never stop programming, and has a high drive for success, similar to somebody I know back in my university. However she does enjoy chatting and Friendster, the only normal thing that’s normal about her.

6.The Fool

The Fool is the spirit in search of experience. Many symbols of the Instituted Mysteries are summarized in this card, which reverses, under high warrants, all the confusions that have preceded it.

The guy who operates a grocery shop in the company. A pleasant guy, but forlornly he’s a bit gender-confused. Very in touch with his feminine side; the other day he was telling me that he seriously wanted to join ballet class. No joke.

7. The Devil

It indicates an obsession or addiction to fulfilling our own earthly base desires. Should the Devil represent a person, it will most likely be one of money and power, one who is persuasive, aggressive, and controlling.

The old lady at the HR Department. Every time I fixed a bug in the system, she’s never short to point out another problem that needs to be rectified, even though a small one. Extremely demanding and very shrewd, in addition of having a big mouth. My guess is she’s not even married yet.

Click here to check Kav's categories of the people HE meets at work.


The 5 Dream Jobs

Remember when we were school children? Primary One? Primary Two? The teachers would ask us to fill a certain form about what we wanted to be in the future. Most of the kids would fill 'Doctor', as the 1st choice, among some other high-paying jobs, engineer, inspector, pilot and such.

We know that what we wrote last time and our current job now are two different things altogether. However, there are some who're lucky enough to accomplish their dream job, but fear not.
Here are some tips to help secure the 5 dream jobs of most people.

i. Doctor
Ahh yes.. The number one dream job of a lifetime.

What'll help:
1.You love to study. You can't live if you don't have a book in your hands.
2.The ability to withstand sleepless nights and feel fresh after a cup of kopi o'.
3.No fear of blood, smelly feet, or headless, naked bodies.

ii. Engineer
Hohohoho... Engineer?

What'll help:
1.Excel in mathematics. Well, not my cup of tea. I hate maths.
2.Loves programming, i.e. Dr. Sitharam (names have been changed to avoid confusion)
3.At least IT literate.

iii. Pilot
Don't even dare to attempt this if you're scared of heights.

What'll help:
1.Excellent sense of direction. (duh! If you can get lost in your own housing area then forget about this career)
2.Ability to play video games. Serious.
3.Good-looks would really help.

iv. Police Inspector
Go, Gadget, go!

What'll help:
1.Having a physique like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
2.Love reading Sherlock Holmes.
3.Ability to speak fluently in front of the camera instead of going uh, uh, uh...

I'm looking for.... the apprentice.

What'll help:
1.Winning Donald Trump's 'The Apprentice' or at least, Martha Stewart's.
2.The ability to lie, cheat and steal without any pangs of conscience.
3.Memorised every word in Robert T.Kiyosaki's 'Why We Want You To Be Rich'.


Manda Bala

It's been a while since I've been myself. Normally I'll have spare time to do loads of stuff, but now I can't even find time to blog. Why so? Because of I'm an official participant in the rat race.

And given that I 'lost' my Internet connection at home means that I can't blog whenever I want to, I just can do it during office hours.

Even that's risky, cause I'm being unethical in terms of computer usage.
Yeah Right.

So, as I was being unethical browsing some trailers, I stumbled across 'Send a Bullet', a documentary which a LITTLE BIT reflects our country. RM 5700 for a jack worth only 50 bucks? And they say it covers installation fees. RM 5650 for installing. Wow.

Just watch the trailer and you'll get what I mean. In a word, brilliant.

The only difference is there they let the guns do the talking, but here ..... 

I rest my case. 



Interview with a Working Man

Finally! The much-awaited interview between me and radiuz! My sincerest apologies for delaying this. I got to interview radiuz one fine day at Kedai Kak Jah Tomyam, as the guy was a busy man,(don't get me wrong, he's not busy due to work, but busy for all the wrong reasons) and to my astonishment; he brought along..... the legendary KSW.

Check out what happened below.

Me: Ahhh Kav.... it's been too long. How are you, mofo?

Kav: Fine, fine... No chick, no life, no money, but other than that I'm cool.

Me: (astonished) You're.... the legendary Kirim Singh Wallu! I just realized! Oh, I've heard so much about you. It's a pleasure!

KSW: Pertemuan & perpisahan perkara biasa.

Me: (puzzled) Ok.... Kav, shall we begin our interview then? An exposure of a single, penniless man's working life?

Kav: Hey, hey, ease the insults. And what's with this TomYam shop, anyways? I was expecting at least Starbucks.

Me: Oh well, you know I'm not Bill Gates myself. So this is all I can manage. But help yourself, it's on the house. Kak Jah is an old friend of mine.

KSW: Otamak-otagi, orang tamak selalu rugi.

Me: (whispers) Hey man, does KSW always do this?

Kav: Ignore him. (shouts) Kak Jah, nasi pattaya satu. Tambah nasi, bungkus 2 telur!!

Me: Alright, let's begin this shall we? 1stly, what are you working as?

Kav: I'm working as a web programmer, specializing in PHP. That means I get to play around with PHP based Content Management Systems, such as XOOPS. In layman terms, I'm one of the guys they go to when some customer fucks up their CMS or try to fuck it up but failed. I also build web-based systems to be used internally, which translates to someone else taking up the credit as soon as I am done with my work.

Me: In layman terms it's a whole lot easier to understand. So ur the man who gets his ass screwed if something goes wrong, but never gets any credit for good work right?

KSW: (slurping teh ais) Lembu punya susu, sapi punya nama.

Me: I'm with you on that one, KSW. Ok then, your designation?

Kav: I'm designated as Programmmer 03. Prog03 for short. Doesn't have much ring in it, does it? Prog03 is the guy who gets all the crappy stuff handed to when Prog01 is just too fucking lazy and Prog02 is a sweet girl who is swamped with tonnes of work.

Me: Sweet girl? Is Prog02 still available? Do you have her number?

Kav: Forget about it. You've got your own girl. And don't think about steppin' into my yard.

Me: (disappointed) Ok, ok... Sheesh, talk about selfishness. So, what are your work responsibilities?

Kav: I do stuff the boss asks me to do, and ignore the stuff my supervisor asks me to do, unless it is approved by my boss. Quite a nice chain of command eh? I am responsible for anything that screams PHP, which of course . I am also responsible for maintaining the company's customized online payment modules for these shopping carts: Joomla, ZenCart and to a certain extent,osCommerce. I am also responsible for looking sleepy after lunch.

Me: Sleepy after lunch, huh? Figures. Is your company small one or a big company?

Kav: It's a biggish small company. Yes. That means I am not quite fucking sure how to classify a big or a small company. (shouts) Oi, mana nasi pattaya I?! Dah lapar ni!!

Me: Give her some time. You requested for additional rice, and I don't know how the hell is she gonna wrap the rice with 2 eggs.

Kav: (groans) Alright.

KSW: Berakit-rakit ke hulu, berenang-renang ke hilir; bersakit-sakit dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian. (burps after his 5th teh ais)

Me: Hey KSW, you might wanna ease off the teh ais. Sure it's free, but you'll get yourself into trouble if you keep on drinking.

KSW: Semut mati kerana gula.

Me: (sighs) Alright. Suit yourself. So Kav, any chicks there?

Kav: Sensitive question. Hmmmmm... Chicks, got la... Hot chicks, nope.

Kak Jah: Nasi pattaya, tambah nasi, bungkuih 2 teloq, SIAP!

Kav: Alright! You don't mind, Redgrave?

Me: Carry on, Kav. You can answer while eating right?

Kav: (concentrating on eating) Huh? Right, right....

Me: Name 1 person there u like @ despise the most. You're free to use pseudonyms.

Kav: Ooooooo...... I call this guy The Incomprehensible Shit-Faced Loser Who Can't Communicate in Any Language but Mandarin and Has Fucked-Up Work Ethic and Manners With A I-am-only-nice-to-girls-but-not-guys Attitude. He is not racist. He is a sexist. And he doesn't even help his OWN sex.

Me: Hmm... Sounds like somebody I know from secondary school. Dickhead. Oh well, from 1-10, estimate ur popularity rate at ur office.

Kav: Among my lunch mates, I'm around 8 or 9. Among the whole office, I'm closer to 3 or 4.

Me: Are u still single?

Kav: (smiling sheepishly) Actually, hehehe..... Not exactly.

Me: If still single, describe the girl of ur dreams?

Kav: In lieu of question 8, I skip this question.

KSW: (in between his 9th teh ais) Tepuk sebelah tangan takkan berbunyi.

Me: Hahahaha... Right. Future plans, Kav?

Kav: I wanna work for a company that allows me to work from home, which suits my lazy ass body and intelligent brain. Make some good money, stack up some savings. Go to Germany's Oktoberfest, then off to Amsterdam to legally get stoned shitless with weed and engage in wonderous legal sexual activites.

Return to Malaysia, get married at 28, have kids at 30, retire by 40, run my own internet business and watch the money roll in while I shag my wife every day and play with my kids and take care of my parents.

An internet death calculator said that I'm gonna die on 31 August 2068. So I would have my final Merdeka celebrations and die happily ever after at 84 years old.

I will then be cremated. My friends will put my ashes on a homegrown cannabis plant as organic fertiliser, so I would appear to them ethereally when they smoke it up, just like in the movie How High. How's that for a future plan?!

Me: Nice plan dude. I was... (loud sound, KSW sprawled on the floor) KSW!! What happened?

KSW: Orang memberi kita merasa, orang berbudi kita berbahasa. (faints after his 13th teh ais)

Kak Jah: Toloooooooooooooonnnngggggggggg!!! Ada orang mati!!!!

Kav: Shit! Somebody get an ambulance!!