the eX factor

There's one topic that women can't get over with, and that is about their bloke's ex. Those who're lucky enough to get their man first-hand, like a brand new car; new leather seats, shiny metallic paint and all. And there're those who aren't that fortunate, their bloke is probably 2nd-hand, well maybe 3rd-hand, 4th, 5th, 10th; lady, if you're number 10 and above, you seriously need to re-consider about your guy here.

The ones who're lucky to be the first girl should discontinue from reading this post, as this doesn't concern you; well probably just not yet.

What I don't understand is why women are curious to know about their boyfriend's ex-girlfriend(s). I mean, why do they like to dig up the ghosts from the times of yore only to end up fighting about something pointless? What's past is already past, let's leave it at that. No point for us going through detail describing what happened.

Ok, it's fair if we told you about how many we dated, but ignorance is bliss right? What's important is the present, and if I were to tell you that I dated 10 girls before you and you're number 11 would you be able to sleep better? I guess not.

So why not let sleeping dogs lie instead? Just be happy with the relationship and let the future unravel itself, that's what life is about after all. Why the hell would you wanna know why did we break up; only to end up worrying about you sharing the same fate? Or looking at her picture or meeting her in person; comparing yourself with her, come on, no matter how perfect you are, looks, brains, and all, there's bound to be something that you feel inferior when you put yourself side by side with the previous girl.

Do not torture yourself needlessly. That's why men don't talk much about our ex-es. Well, at least me. I'll admit, yours truly did have a few flings before my current relationship but that was already history. Sure, I did tell Nat about what happened before but I didn't want to go deep into the details. Knowledge is power, but in this context ignorance is bliss.

Sometimes a simple phone call from my ex could spell disaster, and meeting one of them at public was worse, as there was bound to be some issues later. Yes, I know that this a very normal reaction, this is a good sign indicating that my girl is very much concerned about me; and I'm a very lucky man.

But is it worth the trouble? There are some who're cool with their bloke's ex calling and letting them meet her ocassionally, but honestly ask yourself how many are those who're that open-minded?

There is a reason why we keep in private the stuff from the previous relationships, or remain those moments we shared in our memory. Those mementos belong to a previous liaison, between you and another individual; the privacy of that should never be easily compromised. Omission is never betrayal, it's simply an investment to reap the profits of the contemporary relationship.

p/s: This post is just another of my contemplations, it had nothing to do with my ex calling me thrice yesterday night and me keeping mum about it.

Enter the Toilet (Master)

I was making my way out from the food court yesterday when something caught my eye. Right smack in the middle of the food court sat a... toilet bowl. Naturally, I was intrigued and stopped to look at why the hell a toilet bowl was sitting dead center at an eating outlet and kept flushing itself after a 10-second interval (yeah, I did count how many seconds it re-flushed itself).

It turned out I was in for a surprise. Apparently, the toilet bowl was for sale, and its sales representative told me that this was a 'hygienic toilet'. According to him, the toilet seat was a place where germs were a-plenty and you can catch Pruritus ani (Tautkus Butt) from there.

Enter the 'Toilet Master', a revolutionary toilet bowl that cleans the seat with disnfectant liquid everytime you flush, regardless of whether you take a dump or a piss. Also, the flush water uses distilled water that ensures your toilet bowl clean, and 99.99% free from germs. What's more, you can set the toilet's timer to automatically flush if some moron in your house or at the public forget or just can't be bothered to flush.

In a package, he told me, I have a toilet that cleans itself, and no need to worry about catching ass-related diseases. The price, a whooping 500 bucks, a real deal he ensured me. 'This invention will revolutionize how we berkumuh'; he told me. He was very enthusiastic while explaning, it seemed he had passion in his job and wasn't embarassed at what he was selling. I asked him how many he managed to sell so far. Turned out that he had been here for 3 days, but so far I was the only one who had listened to his whole sales pitch; the others simply walked away after they heard that the bowl was for sale.

Guess that made his day, as he presented me with a bottle of toilet seat disinfectant, on the house.

Just when I thought I'd seen everything; now there are all-in-one hygienic toilet bowls for sale at food courts. I take my hat off to you Philip; for your enthuisiasm and courage (and not forgetting the free disinfectant), may you be able to transfigure the toilet industry.

Rencontre'

I met someone unexpected today, at 7-Eleven. Come to think of it, it's been eight years since we last met, the last venue being the same place as well. It so happened that I just finished some overtime (there's a shitload of work everyday of the week), and was heading home before I decided to grab some bread for tomorrow's breakfast.

I stopped at the mart on my way home, walked in and proceeded to grab the bread before paying at the counter. I was browsing through my wallet for some spare change that I didn't realize that there was somebody in front of me and bumped headlong into the figure. I was about to apologize when I realized that it was her. I recognized her instantly, as she did me.

I still remember the day when we first met, at 7-11; we were both tuition mates back then, Chemistry tuition mates to be exact. The meeting was actually by chance, I was paying for my large Slurpee whereas she just walked in, we looked at each other before she conferred me a smile. It was one of those smiles that'll make your heart melt, well at least mine, anyway.

During my 2ndary school days I was rather stiff with girls, the moment she smiled I was a bit taken aback, before my brains shouted 'Smile back, nitwit!'. It was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. From there on we made it a point to greet each other with a smile, her smile everytime thawing me out. I cycled to tuition back then, and when classes were over she'd make it a point to look back as her car passed me by, and I'd return her gaze until she was out of sight.

However, I was too gutless to ask her out, let alone asking her name. My buddy, Yan urged me to go ahead, but sadly I was too chicken to do so. Eventually, SPM examinations came, the classes came to an end and I've never seen her since.

I've almost forgotten about it, having only those memories rekindled tonight. We met each other at the same place the path of our lives crossed, only to learn that both of us were already seeing someone. She told me she felt happy seeing me, as it was unexpected and pleasant as well, I remember her saying these words before we parted, 'It's destiny we saw each other tonight. I felt glad seeing you again,' before presenting me with her same sweet smile I knew so well, as a parting gift.

We understood each other, it was already too late for anything. Guess that a small part of me (ok, I admit it was rather a big part of me) wanted more than the current situation, but nah... life is already complicated enough. There are those relationships that are one of a kind, unique special ones, and this was one of them. No strings, no boundaries. Abstract relationships, I think that's what they are called. Undefined yet evocative.

This time, although I had the courage, I didn't ask for her name, I just wanted to remember her by her smile. Who knows, things might've turned out different if I had the guts to ask her out then, I wouldn't have known Nat, and she would never have known her bloke. Damn, again I'm harbouring hopes. Ah well, no point talking about what-ifs and what-nots.

As I saw her walk out through that door, towards the car that was waiting for her, I replied; 'As do I.... As do I.'