I didn't enjoy my dinner last night. No, the food was good; really, it was one of my favorites actually, black pepper fish with rice, with extra 'cili padi'.

So what went wrong?

It was THE ordeal before dinner.

Earlier in the morning I had to help Nat out with some spring cleaning at her house; basically I had to move stuff, the heavier ones mostly, & I had to dust, sweep and mop the place while she sat down drinking iced lemon tea. Nah, just kidding; she helped out too. Well, at least a bit.

Now, you'd be wondering why there's only the 2 of us in the whole picture, well that's because her family went down to a trip at some place, & the spring-cleaning job was rested on her shoulders, which meant it was my problem too. Sigh... As there was no running away, I started out in the morning, and finished the damn thing somewhere in the evening.

It was then when Nat complained that she smelt something funny, a foul stench to be more exact. She told me that she already smelt it in the morning, but she thought it was just a random smell carried by the wind. But it wasn't. It was worse. So, being the organisme with the XY chromosomes, I had to be the one to check it out, trace where it came from, & get rid of the smell.

I began sniffing around, and traced the stench to the toilet. Initially, I thought it was a case of bad diaorrhea 'floating' in the toilet bowl and someone had forgot to flush it, but it wasn't; I was thankful though, really. Now, on top of their toilet was a additional ceiling before the roof, housing a giant water tank.
I virtually checked the whole house, and it was at the toilet the stench was the 'strongest'. Thus I had to check the place as well.

So I got a ladder and climbed up the place, it was dark, damp and it stinked. With each step I climbed, the stench got worse, and finally when I could see, I saw a dead rat staring at me. I almost fell off the ladder from the shock and the stench, yeah, more due to the stench. Okay, target found, now to eliminate & destroy.

I called out to Nat telling her I found out the source of the 'lovely' smell, and asked her for 3 things, a pair of tongs, a large handkerchief & a plastic bag. Hell, I wasn't gonna hold the rat with my hands! After covering my nose and mouth with the handkerchief ala Mexican bandit, I had to brave the stench again, & I had to climb up to the ceiling in order to extract poor Remy. The climb wasn't easy, there was nothing to hold on to, and the damn ceiling floor was damp and dirty.

After struggling for almost five minutes, I managed and took the pair of tongs to put the rat into the bag. It took me 3 attempts, as dear old Remy was squishy and slippery, also the stench as I drew him nearer to the plastic bag was 'intoxicating'.
Post-extraction, I called out 'bombs-away' & dropped the plastic bag to the floor below, I was careful to ask Nat to re-locate the bag, I didn't want my 'leap of faith' to land on Remy.

I removed him out of the house, but the 10 minute ordeal had gotten rid of my appetite. Hungry as I was, I didn't seem keen on having dinner anymore, even though I was starving 15 minutes ago. And the guy, Anton Ego asked Remy to 'surprise him'; no thanks, I'll pass and stick to good ol' human chefs. Rats and dinner just don't mix.


Nat said...

Now I know why Fear Factor contestants are so freaked out with the rats.

I used to think that 20-30 seconds with the rats was no big deal, but I beg to differ now.

Wendy said...

EEeee...a dead Remy is yucky and scary huh...

tony redgrave said...

Nat: Easy for u to say, I had to do the dirty work.

Wendy: A dead, smelly, squishy Remy which you have to pick up with tongs is far worse

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