Enter the Toilet (Master)

I was making my way out from the food court yesterday when something caught my eye. Right smack in the middle of the food court sat a... toilet bowl. Naturally, I was intrigued and stopped to look at why the hell a toilet bowl was sitting dead center at an eating outlet and kept flushing itself after a 10-second interval (yeah, I did count how many seconds it re-flushed itself).

It turned out I was in for a surprise. Apparently, the toilet bowl was for sale, and its sales representative told me that this was a 'hygienic toilet'. According to him, the toilet seat was a place where germs were a-plenty and you can catch Pruritus ani (Tautkus Butt) from there.

Enter the 'Toilet Master', a revolutionary toilet bowl that cleans the seat with disnfectant liquid everytime you flush, regardless of whether you take a dump or a piss. Also, the flush water uses distilled water that ensures your toilet bowl clean, and 99.99% free from germs. What's more, you can set the toilet's timer to automatically flush if some moron in your house or at the public forget or just can't be bothered to flush.

In a package, he told me, I have a toilet that cleans itself, and no need to worry about catching ass-related diseases. The price, a whooping 500 bucks, a real deal he ensured me. 'This invention will revolutionize how we berkumuh'; he told me. He was very enthusiastic while explaning, it seemed he had passion in his job and wasn't embarassed at what he was selling. I asked him how many he managed to sell so far. Turned out that he had been here for 3 days, but so far I was the only one who had listened to his whole sales pitch; the others simply walked away after they heard that the bowl was for sale.

Guess that made his day, as he presented me with a bottle of toilet seat disinfectant, on the house.

Just when I thought I'd seen everything; now there are all-in-one hygienic toilet bowls for sale at food courts. I take my hat off to you Philip; for your enthuisiasm and courage (and not forgetting the free disinfectant), may you be able to transfigure the toilet industry.